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"How to thoroughly confuse Richard Biggs."

A Tribute by Luke Ski

My wife Stephanie, Richard Biggs, and myself on Sunday afternoon at MarsCon 2004.

I am a fan of Richard Biggs.  I've never had the chance to watch Babylon 5, nor did I catch any of his episodes of Days Of Our Lives.  I've only seen him in small vignettes on various TV shows and movies, thanks to my new best friend 'TiVo'.  But as I said, despite my unintentional non-viewing of any of his acting career, I can say in all honesty I was and still am a fan of Richard Biggs.  I met him for the very first time a year ago this weekend (Memorial Day weekend) at MarCon 38.  Since the circumstances of our first encounter with each other makes quite the anecdote, I felt I should share it with you all, while my mind still retains most of the finer details of it.

I was the brainchild behind an unofficial track of dementia programming at MarCon 38 ('dementia' means comedy music, ala Weird Al, Dr. Demento, etc.).  I came up with several panel ideas which I submitted to my contact person at MarCon, and some of them got made into panels and performances (the "Dementia Showcase" for example, which is returning at this year's MarCon).  One of the ideas my wife Stephanie and I had was to have an amateur funny music songwriting & performing contest in which the audience would vote for their favorite new funny song by an amateur, and as the grand prize that winning song would be played on "the Dr. Demento Show".  We called it "A-MarCon Idol".  Get it?  To complete the gag, we'd have some 'celebrity judges' do the whole commentary thing, with some good natured ribbing but no actual insults.  Well, that idea never happened.

Once I got the initial list of panels & performances I was doing, I noticed on Sunday that I was supposed to be on a panel called "Presentation!"  The panel was supposed to be about how one goes about presenting himself in their performance craft.  Representing the demented music world were myself, and fellow "Dr. Demento Show" artists Tony Goldmark and Dan Hart.  Representing the field of professional acting were Glen Shadix (Otho from 'BeetleJuice', and many other cool movies) and Richard Biggs.  It seemed like an odd panel of people to have together, but I knew it was most likely put together to appease the programming gods of MarCon, whose policy is to make sure every comped panelist sits on at least 3 panels that weekend, even if the panel doesn't entirely make sense.  Oh well, I was up for it.  It could lead to some really interesting discussions, so I didn't question it, I just mentally prepared for it as best I could.

I arrive at MarCon, and double check the programming guide to make sure everything is where and when I was told it was supposed to be.  I check out the description of the "Presentation" panel, and it has completely changed.  There are three or four panelists added to the list, all of whom are local small budget filmmakers of some sort.  I don't remember exactly how they worded it in the book, but it looks like someone saw my initial idea for an "American Idol" style show, and decided to apply it to the "Presentation" panel.  NOW the panel is supposed to be this:  Me, Tony, Dan, Glen Shadix, and Richard Biggs are all giving 'presentations' to the panel of judges, a.k.a. the filmmaker guys, and they will all commentate on the presentations given.  ...So let me see if I got this straight, big time movie actors Glen Shadix and Richard Biggs are supposed to have prepared acting pieces with them when they fly to Columbus, Ohio on Memorial Day Weekend, so that a bunch of midwest film geeks with hangovers can mock them like a four-headed Simon Cowell in front of however many of their fans were able to make it to the Sunday morning panel between sleeping in and checking out of the Hyatt?!?!?  Not to mention the fact that I'm sure all those guys would just trash the hell out of me, Tony, and Dan, since I'm fairly sure none of the three of us were planning on doing any songs about sex, beer, alcohol, or more sex.  According to the MarCon guide book, this was now the current premise of the "Presentation" panel.  

To put it lightly, I was concerned.  Dan and I immediately go to con headquarters, and show the new panel listing to one of the convention big-wigs.  He tells us this was not the panel he approved, and he has no idea who made the change.  With no real answers or solutions, we just went on with the convention as we planned, knowing that we will cross that bridge when we come to it.  So, Sunday morning comes, Tony, Dan, and I are waiting in the panel room to start the so-called "Presentation" panel.  None of the film guys were there, and neither was Glen Shadix.  I heard Glen had to leave early to catch his flight home, but I have no idea what became of the film guys.  They were probably unconscious on the atrium stairs with a plastic cup still half full of 'green stuff' in their hands.  Also, no Richard.  So, the three of us started off the panel in a very ambiguous way, not quite sure what to do with ourselves.  After a few minutes, some con gopher sticks his head in the door and asks "Hey, is Richard Biggs supposed to be in here?"  We tell him yes, and he says he'll go get him for us.  Another couple minutes later Richard Biggs...

Remember Richard Biggs?  This is a story about Richard Biggs...

...Richard Biggs walks in and sits down between us, and asks us what this panel is all about.  Good frickin' question.  I hastily explain to him everything that you just read about, leading up to his arrival, and tell him we're unsure what to do now.  He doesn't know what to do either. He asks me, "So, what do you do?"  I briefly explain what I do (fandom based parody music for "the Dr. Demento Show"), and start my 'presentation'.  Since the description implied to those who arrived to see it that there would be performing of some kind, I decided to perform my newest hit, my "Lord of the Rings" based Eminem parody "Stealing Like A Hobbit", aided only by a boom box.  I stumbled over the lyrics a few times, because I felt so out of sorts with the whole damn situation.  The song finishes.  Richard just sits there staring at me in silence for a few seconds...  And then he turns to Dan Hart and asks "So, what do YOU do?"

Dan Hart, funny folk singer, does one of his songs, "The Dangerous Toy", a song about a father giving his son a beloved toy whose sole purpose is to maim the child.  After Dan's song ends, Richard says (this isn't an exact quote, but it's close enough), "...Okay, well, I really think this is a panel that I shouldn't be on.  So, thank you all very much, but I'm going back to my [autograph] table.  Thanks, and I'll see you all later", and makes a polite but hasty exit.

The thoughts that entered my mind at that point were:  "Great, now Richard Biggs probably thinks I'm some kind of weird psycho-stalker type who is a huge fan of his, and that I set up this whole 'Presentation' panel as a thin excuse to get close to him and force him to listen to my geek parody songs against his will.  And I'm booked to perform at 3 or so conventions in the months to come that he will also be at, so he'll think I'm following him across the midwest.  This sucks.  I haven't even seen the show he's on, and he thinks I'm an obsessed nut job.  Perfect."  We continued the panel.  Dan did a brief piece on what 'bad presentation' was (which was very funny), and I think Tony did a song.  The panel ended, and we all went home.

A few months later, at "To Be ConTinued 2" in Merrilleville, IN, Richard and I were again at the same convention.  We didn't really see each other, because we were both busy doing different things.  On Sunday, my friend Jessica gave me a more appropriate introduction to him.  I apologized to him for that MarCon 'Presentation' panel, explaining to him that I had nothing to do with the creation of it, and he was very gracious about it, saying that it all just seemed very confusing to him.  I let him know that he and I were both scheduled Guests of Honor at MarsCon in Minneapolis, and he said he was looking forward to it.  It was a short but nice conversation, and it made me feel better about the whole thing.

Months later at MarsCon, at opening ceremonies, Richard had this to say:  "Well, yeah, first time I've ever been here.  I got off the plane, I said 'Hey, there's snow', and everybody looked at me like, 'Yeah, dummy!'  Cause, where I'm from right now it's 80 degrees.  80 degrees, the flowers are blooming, and I go to sleep on the plane, I wake up and it's DAMN COLD!  Cause I had to be here, cause you guys have a great reputation out in fandom.  I don't think you guys are aware of it, but the word is out on your convention.  So I feel that year after year after this, you will see a lot of people perking up and coming up to Minneapolis.  With small events, people are looking for really small events that are fan-run, because they have a lot more fun.  You ever been to a ['big-corporate-run'] Con?  I'm sure some of you have... I went to a convention in England, when Babylon 5 was like 'THE THING'.  There were 4,000 people there, and it was like 95 degrees outside, and there were lines, as...  Like, we would be talking here, like in a panel, and in the windows, you could see the people, lined up, waiting, for hours.  For a picture, you know.  So, this is the way to go, and I certainly appreciate you people inviting me. And we're going to have a lot of fun."  

It really goes to show you how much he cared about the fans, and that he understood and appreciated what the fandom convention culture was all about.  It was about friends and family getting together to celebrate and be ourselves away from the judging eyes of the mundane world, and he felt totally comfortable immersing himself in it and just hanging out with all of us.  Very cool.  There was a ShockWave Radio play done following the Opening Ceremonies in which all of the Guests of Honor participated, featuring a story in which his Babylon 5 character Dr. Stephen Franklin goes on a spirit quest and eventually meets himself.  It was very funny, and I'm proud that I got to be a part of it.

That weekend, I had my hands super full.  I think its safe to say that I broke some kind of record for the MarsCon Guest of Honor who did the most participating, planning, and running of programming in the history of the convention.  All for the cause of making 'dementia' a staple of the midwest convention scene.  I won't go into detail, because this is a story about Richard, but I'll just say that between fellow Guest of Honor Dr. Demento, and the other special musical comedy guests the Nick Atoms, Tony Goldmark, Worm Quartet, and Eric Coleman, a LOT of kick-ass dementia performing went down, and a great time was had by all.

On Sunday that weekend amid my scrambling around to make sure everything was getting done after my performance at "the Fan Show", Steph and I saw Richard walking towards the hotel elevators, so we ran and caught him for a quick picture.  I said to him "Sorry I haven't had a chance to say 'Hi' yet this weekend."  He said something like, "Oh, what, are you kidding?  You've been busy running around all over the place!"  We snapped the picture that's at the top of this page, and I told him I'd see him again at some other con sometime soon.  

In my heart, I believe I will.  I believe every time I'm at a convention on a late Friday or Saturday night, bopping from room party to room party, that Richard Biggs will always be there, hanging out, drinking, laughing, and having fun.  We won't actually see him there, but he'll be there.  I'm gonna miss him.  I don't know if me telling this story was particularly entertaining to anyone out there, but it was something I felt I had to do, just to make sure I never forget the example he set for me.  

Thanks Richard.  We'll miss you.  When you get to heaven, give Gene Roddenberry a wedgie for all of us.

~ Luke Ski, 05-26-2004

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